Not trying to turn this into an all-about-baby blog, but frankly, that's all I really have to talk about right now. Haven't picked up the knitting needles since before Little E. was born. So....
Still breastfeeding, and am finally *almost* healed. Still sore, though, but that I can deal with. I wish I had known in the beginning what I know now. Well, maybe. If I had known how long it would take me to heal, I might have had a mental breakdown during the first month. Seriously. But I wish I had done some things differently. For one thing, I would give serious thought to 'conditioning' my nipples before the birth to get them a little toughened up beforehand. It's a practice that is no longer recommended by lactation consultants, but hey, things couldn't have gone much worse so I think it may have been worth a shot.
Second, and this one is big, I think the 'moist wound healing' for breastfeeding is complete bull. I used the gel pads from the first day for about a month or more, and they did nothing to speed healing. They did, however, lead to a nasty yeast infection in my breasts which contributed to the pain and prevented me from healing as quickly. I used the Medela and the Ameda, the latter being by far the better product. The Medela pads were sticky. Bad, bad thing for scabby nipples. But I wouldn't use any type of product like this in the future. I think the recommendation to expose breasts to air is definitely the better choice and actually did seem to help. Lansinoh... eh. Don't think it helped that much, and may have also contributed to the yeast. Any kind of moist environment can encourage its growth. Didn't provide much relief, so I can't say much about it.
Then there are the nipple shields. I really have mixed feelings about these. They aren't recommended because they can supposedly cause supply issues, but I don't think that's really true. Never actually heard of someone having this problem with the thin silicone shields. In the beginning, when I used them the first week, they seemed to provide instant relief. But eventually, I think they caused more harm than good. Lots of people have great experiences with them, but for me, it became more comfortable to nurse without them than with them. In fact, the time that I bled the most heavily was a time I was using the shield. So I would say they may be a short-term help, but not a solution for the long haul.
If I hadn't used the gel pads for so long, I think I might have healed faster. But I have no idea how I could have prevented the initial damage that caused all of the other problems. Supposedly the latch and positioning were fine, which according to the breastfeeding gurus means it shouldn't hurt. Well, guess again. All in all, I would say it was worse than labor and delivery because it lasted for so long. It was so demoralizing to feel like I wasn't healing, but was, in fact, getting worse every day. After you give birth to your baby, you want to get on the road to recovery asap! And the pain was much worse than the pain of my stitches. I am happy to report, though, that I am very close to being totally healed and one step closer to pain-free nursing. If I were someone else listening to my story, I would ask why on earth a person would keep doing that to their body, and why they didn't just quit. I don't know. Obviously it was more important to me than I realized, but also, I think I'm perhaps too determined for my own good. I kept saying to myself, "This will not break me." But it did, actually. It broke me down many times. But I'm happy to be on the other side of it.
By the way, if someone had told me a few years ago that I would be blogging online about my nipples, I would have been horrified.
